The Perception of Normal
Let’s take a quick look at the definition of NORMAL according to the Webster dictionary.
Conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern; characterized by that which is considered usual, typical, or routine.
So who decides what is normal?
I originally started writing this thinking about people with ADHD and autism who struggle to feel like they fit into this world.
But then I realized something.
It’s not just neurodivergent people who feel like they don’t fit in. It’s people in general.
Some just spend more time believing it means something is wrong with them.
If normal means what is usual or typical, then who decides what those standards are? And why are we measuring ourselves against them?
Normal is simply how you define normal.
If you struggle to feel like you fit in, you are not alone.
If you struggle with life, daily tasks, routines, or just figuring things out, you are not alone.
Struggling in life does not make you abnormal. If your brain works differently than someone else’s, that doesn’t make it wrong.
No two people are the same.
If you feel different from everyone else, remember that everyone IS different.
Feeling like you don’t fit in doesn’t mean you don’t belong.
There doesn’t need to be something wrong with you just because you feel different.
Instead of trying to be “normal” or “fit in” to a world where everyone is different, learn to be comfortable being YOU.
Find your people!
These are the people who understand you, who you feel comfortable around, and who you actually like.
This isn’t a contest to make people like you. It’s a job interview where YOU get to decide who you want to “hire” as your friends.
Sometimes, you don’t feel like you belong because you’re trying to belong in places where you can’t be yourself.
You can be a wonderful person and still not be everyone’s cup of tea.
Stop trying to fit yourself into places that don’t fit you.
Neurodivergence can bring challenges, but it can also bring incredible strengths. Some autistic people develop extraordinary knowledge in their areas of interest. Some people with ADHD thrive under pressure, think quickly, or have incredible creative abilities.
We all have different strengths. The things that make you different might also be your greatest gifts.
Bring your focus back to YOU.
1. You don’t need to fit in. You need to find people that fit you.
2. If something isn’t working in your life, change it. Not to fit in, but because it doesn’t fit you.
3. Stop looking outside yourself to find happiness when YOU get to decide what happiness means to you.
4. Be yourself. This is how you find the people who genuinely fit you, including a partner who loves and accepts you as you are.
5. Stop looking at what’s wrong with you and start seeing your brilliant gifts. The things that make you stand out might just be your superpowers!
You don’t need to be like everyone else to belong.
You don’t need everyone to understand you to be worthy of being understood.
And you don’t need to be “normal” to be perfectly okay.
What if there is nothing wrong with you?
What if you’ve spent years trying to change yourself when what you really needed was to change how you see yourself?
Maybe you were never meant to fit in everywhere. Maybe you were meant to find where you fit.
Start defining what normal means to YOU.
Remember keep it simple!
